Thursday, July 2, 2009

Even the worst, is still the best

Today has been one of those days. And yes, it's only half over.

I started out tired, thanks to 4 days of work and some insomnia on my part, added to a dose of stupid.

The baby hasn't been sleeping so well. Waking up and wanting to nurse back to sleep, although she's been known to sleep 7-8hrs straight many times over. Not lately. She doesn't have her own room yet. We are still under construction. Hopefully by the end of the summer.

She's quite well-fed, as evidenced by the rolls on her legs and the rash in her sweaty neck rolls. When she woke up for the SECOND time last night at a three hour interval, I decided to see if she would go back to sleep. (That my friends, was the dose of stupid).

There was a small amount of bloody murder screaming (during which Bean took his pillow and headed to the couch...I didn't blame him). Then some fussing. Then some quiet. Then more fussing. Then she found her thumb. Then she cried. Then I held the pacifier in. Then I patted her bum and her back. And yet she never settled back in. I can't blame her. I'm right there. She can smell the comfort and she wants it whether she needs it or now. (hmmm, sounds like my issues with sweets)

So I gave in. She's my last baby after all. (In case you were wondering, I detest the phrase "last baby" no matter how true it is and no matter how much peace I feel about it.) All in all, I lost quite a bit of sleep in the process though. Poor Bean did too. And he had to go to work today. Brutal.

Made for one tired mama when Gracie started calling for me this morning--at least it was after 7am though. Miss Rose slept through the yelling somehow. Quickly it was time to go pick my nephew up for a few hours to give his 2wk post-c section mama a break. I think I've JUST decided to nickname my nephews Big Bird and Little Bird on my blog. If you know them, you know why, and you are laughing too!!

Yeah, Gracie isn't doing so well with sharing toys in her own home. It didn't matter what toy Big Bird picked up, she wanted it. And cried and cried. And cried. And cried. And threw fits.

I attempted to Shred but that last a whole FIVE minutes. Baby was done with her nap. Early I might add. Would she sit in the bouncer while I finished a measly twenty minute workout? Nope. She wanted to nurse.

Oh, and did I mention I had pumped an hour prior. I only have a few ounces stored and need to build up a bit more of a stash. So there was no fast letdown for her. And did that ever make her mad. So she cried. And cried. And cried. Finally we worked through it and she found out with a little more work--yes there was still plenty for her.

So let's go outside and play. We have no backyard currently. Under construction (notice the theme here). So we pull the playhouse out of the garage and play in the driveway. It was going well. Then the contractor came. Time to pack up and head inside.

We managed to make it through another hour playing playdough and eating lunch. I took Big Bird home, put my babies down for naps and Miss Rose is playing next door. Ah, finally. Peace and quiet.

Here's the thing. I've been working on my attitude lately. And how I express myself. Was it crazy and hectic? Yes. Did I get to do what I wanted (Shred). No. Sure I could focus on those things. But I CHOOSE to focus on the fact that I'm at home, being a mommy today. I was able to give my sister in law a few hours with just one of her fledglings. I nursed my hungry baby, instead of her getting a bottle. I am the main influence on my children today.

And that is why, even the worst day--(and this wasn't the worst day by any means), is still the best day. Because this is the life God gave me. This is the balance between my job and my home. This is the opportunity to help out a loved one.

It's about my attitude. And how I face the day. I can have a bad day and still love my life and love my kids. I'm learning. I'm being molded and made more into HIS image.

I do suppose at some point, I need to take a shower. Maybe I'll finish Shredding. Or do some housework. No matter what, it's still the best.

2 comments:

  1. I hear you! usually when I'm feeling the worst about it all I just need to spend some time with them and I'm reminded how great it is to be their mommy :) Hope you get some good sleep tonight!

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  2. Attitude is incredible isn't it? I wish I had a better one more often... Hope you and the family get more rest tonight! So when you Shred now what level are you doing? I may be super out of shape, but I'm too scared to look at level 3 and still just do level 2.

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