Thursday, February 25, 2010

today

Today...I am tired.  I feel like I could stay in bed and sleep the entire day.  But I was up early and out of the house with the kids at 7:30am because the bigger girls had dentist appointments.  They've been "watching " one of Miss Rose's back molars, and today he said it's crossed over to the dark side and it's time for a filling.  Unfortunately she has soft teeth with deep grooves.  I'm hoping her permanent teeth are stronger.  I'm NOT looking forward to the cavity appointment.  I am quite confident we'll be paying the fee for nitrous oxide.  Remember this experience when she had shots at the doctor's office?  That was over a year ago, she's quite taller and weighs 10 more pounds.  I'm not thinking she'll take well to the shots in her mouth.

Today...I have a sore throat and headache.  Along with being tired.  A few families at church have had strep throat recently, as did Miss Rose a month ago or so.  Not that I think I got it from any of them (if I have it) but apparently, it's going around.  I'm hoping I don't have strep.

Today...I'm going to spend as much time on the couch as possible.  Thankfully, Gracie is in love with Ice Age-the Dinosaurs.  I'm not sure the exact title, but that's what she calls it.  She's perfectly happy to lay on the couch with me watching it.  Miss Rose rarely watches more than abou 45min of TV or a movie before she's bored and wanting to move on to the next thing, so I'm glad she's at school!

Today...I have many things that could or should be done.  That's what happens when you work a few days a week and are home a few days.  Everything piles up.  Errands, chores, cleaning, organizing.  I don't know that any of them will get done today.

Today...I'm just working on making it through today.  I seem to cycle through weeks of positive thinking and outlook on my crazy, busy life.  But then weeks like this one come along, and without any real rhyme or reason I feel overwhelmed and discontent with the balancing act.  I know I'm not the only one.  All working mothers experience it.  No matter how much you love your job or are fulfilled by it, being a mom is stil number one, and it's hard when you aren't living up to your own expectations.  Even when you've lowered those expectations quite significantly.

Today...is the day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.  A few mornings ago, this verse came to mind as I was driving Miss Rose to school.  Gracie and Lily were in the car too, and our next stop was Grammie's, where they would be for the day while I went to work.  I was already missing them.  Feeling sad that I had two more days of work before I could be more hands on with them.  And I thought to myself, if THIS is the day the Lord made, then no matter what the day holds, whether I like it's contents or not, I need to rejoice and be glad.  Not an easy pill to swallow when I'd rather just wallow in self-pity.  Because THIS is the day the Lord made.  He made my day.  He knows the contents of my day.  He knows what I have to do and where I have to be.  So I need to trust him, and rejoice and be glad.

The trusting part I'm doing okay with.  Rejoicing and being glad...I'm working on it.  But I am resting in the knowledge that he made today.  THIS day.

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