Thursday, January 26, 2012

Race Report

I've been in recovery mode this week from Sunday's race.  Well, as much as one can rest and recover while mothering and working!

Check out my race report here.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

It's marathon time!

I think a lot of people who follow me here also know I have a running blog.

But in case you don't, or you don't follow it for updates...

I'm running a marathon tomorrow!

That would be 26.2 miles.

Here's what I wrote over there tonight.

Live tracking of the race is available here: http://liveraceresults.com/liverc2/default2.aspx and I'm bib 319.  Apparently I think I'm important enough that people want to track my race.  Truly I know I'm not.  But I have enjoyed tracking others races, so maybe that's your thing too.

Full reports next week.


Monday, January 16, 2012

just write

I haven't posted here in a week.  I think of blog posts just about every day, but there just aren't enough hours in the day or energy in my body.  I'm not even sure where this is going tonight, which is why I decided to just write.

Things have been good.  Full schedules as always.  I taught a school of ministry class this weekend, which is exhausting but also provided money for my soon to be 8-year-old's party.  Miss Rose wanted to have an actual party this year.  We are taking kids to play Laser Tag and then heading to a Chuck E. Cheese which is next door for games and pizza.  She invited several friends from school, but we've yet to get any RSVP's back.  Not sure what to think about that.

The only thing on my mind lately is that I'm running a MARATHON on Sunday.  26.2 miles.  My first ever.  I can confidently say that I'm ready though.  My ultimate goal is to finish and making any time goals is just icing on the cake.  That's not to say I won't be pushing myself or running against my watch.  I'm only ever competitive against myself.  Other than finish, I also want to leave it all out there.  I don't want to cross the finish line feeling like I still have more to give.

Yet if I could get to the end of an average day and feel like I had more to give, that would be incredible.  I guess everyday life is a marathon that drains me.  My children are exhibiting some poor attitudes and manners and I feel like character-building is what is needed.  But where do I find the time for that.

My oldest needs more responsibility, but she's very Type A---which means I need lists and checklists and to spell every detail out to get the best result from her.  My middle girl needs some simple manners reminders and to stop throwing fits when she doesn't get her way.  Which usually involves me saying no to her changing her clothes for the fifth time that day.  The littlest, well she learns everything from them so focusing these issues with them will rub off on her.

I've been pretty confident in my mothering skills.  But oh my.

Stubborn. Strong-willed. Opinionated.  These are traits my girls have.  Inherited from me.  They can be great strengths.  And great challenges.  For me and them.  I wasn't so much like this when I was younger. So I'm at a loss.

Prayer.  It's my biggest weapon. Praying circles around my girls.  For energy and discipline myself.

This mothering thing? Hardest ever.  Worth it.  But hardest ever.

Linked up here.

Monday, January 9, 2012

just your average day

Any moms out there laughing yet at my title?  We all know there is no "average day" and that usually that kind of phrase means all sort of craziness, right?

So, it's Monday.  Which is both a welcome return to routine and also usually a bit harried.  I did well preparing for the day mostly and everyone was up and ready to go on time. Score!!

Dropped Miss Rose and our neighbor off at school.  The little girls and I stopped at Albertson's, where Lily put a sticker on my back.  I knew about the sticker; all the checkers were laughing and reminded me not too forget.  Which I promptly did, until a co-worker alerted me to it's presence. No big deal and good for a laugh.

A little before 11am I got a call from Miss Rose's school that she had a fever of 100.4 and needed to be picked up.  She showed no signs of illness in the morning, so I was pretty surprised.  I headed over to get her right away.  She's complained a few times of pain in her stomach or side, so I started wondering if she had appendicitis.  I knew it was a slim possibility, but couldn't help but to wonder.  Miss Rose was a little flushed and said her throat hurt.

I headed back to work to gather my stuff to come home and the little girls' preschool is right next to my work too.  I cancelled my afternoon babysitter and Miss Rose's ride home with the neighbor.  When I arrived a little early to pick up Gracie and Lily from school, they were super excited I was there (instead of the babysitter) and Lily promptly told me she was wet.  They were just coming in from recess and she had wet during playtime, which is what she often does at school.  At least I got there to deal with it and they didn't have to!

Lily rode home sitting on her jacket, with no pants or underwear.  Lovely.  I had so much to bring in from the car, I just sent her from the car to the house when we got home, not worried that she was feeling the breeze! Her shirt was longer so it wasn't like she was complete exposed.

Once in the house, I went about taking care of Miss Rose.  I took her temperature three times, with two different thermometers, under her tongue and her armpit--and couldn't find a fever!  Are you kidding me??!!  I went through all that rigamarole and she doesn't have a fever???  It was right after recess that she went to the office, so maybe she was overheated.  And her throat...it wasn't too red and it didn't hurt her that bad later.  So who knows.

All I know is that she's going back to school tomorrow, unless she wakes up with a fever!!

While this was going on, I told Lily to go to the bathroom since she had been wet at school.  She protested a bit, but finally complied.  I wasn't paying much attention and a little later she comes out to me and tells me her Wubbie got pee on it--and sure enough it's wet.  She's carried it into the bathroom before and it's been dipped in the toilet a few times.  Later I go in the bathroom and it's covered in toilet water and wet toilet paper wads!!

I have NO CLUE what went on in there.  When I asked Lily about it, she looked very coy and guilty, but couldn't really elaborate on what happened, especially since maybe 15 minutes had already passed.

Lily is a handful!  A cute one, but still a handful.  I have a feeling this year is going to be very entertaining with her.

So, there's my average day.  All in a days work for a working mama.  You just never know.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

running through my head

I have many posts flying through my head all the time.  But at the end of the day, when I collapse onto the couch, they refuse to formulate themselves.  I love to write.  I would love to do it more.  But I guess it's one of those things on the back burner right now.

What isn't on the back burner?  Besides feeding, clothing and bathing the kids and all that is required to do that?  Which would include working, cleaning, laundry, shopping and maintaining a good relationship with the husband who is my partner in all of this.  We make a good team.

I made some cranberry bread tonight.  And ate three pieces.  I had a bag of cranberries in my fridge from Christmastime that I didn't have time to use to make our favorite cranberry bread.  Lily wanted to try a cranberry tonight.  I convinced her that it wasn't a good idea.

Have you ever thought much about cranberries?  They are no good raw.  I've never actually tried one, but I suspect it would be rather bitter, even sour.  But dry it and make a craisin and they are delicious in my salad.  Bake chopped cranberries into a sweet bread and you have a mouth-watering treat.  The perfect combination of sweet and sour.

That's how life feels these days.  Sweet and sour.  I posted about bitter & sweet earlier this week and I guess that idea continues to permeate my mind.  For every sweet moment, there seems to be a complimentary taste of sour.  I don't really care for sweet and sour candy.  I just like sweet.

My head is mulling over the sour.  The bitter.  Struggling with how to get through it to the sweet.  And in the midst, everyday life goes on.  The kids still need to be fed, clothed and bathed.  For that I am thankful.  They keep me grounded.  They reveal my impatience and shortcomings.  Somehow I am grateful for that.  It keeps me processing.  Reaching towards heaven for the grace and patience that comes only from Above.

I did start reading Bittersweet and it's good for my soul.  I don't like facing the hard stuff.  I don't like facing sadness, grief, pain.  I push it down.  Pretend it's not there.  But the problem is it festers.  And so my outer shell hardens to hide the festering mess that is inside me.  I don't like being hard.

I turn 35 this year.  It doesn't change who I am or what my life is but it does feel like a milestone.  I don't want to reach 35 in a hardened state.  I want to be open and tender.  I've got 6 months.

Time to be courageous.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

She's Jesus' Princess

My babysitter brought the little girls to my work this afternoon.

Lily showed up like this.


She carries Jesus with her and she is a princess.

Kids are rad.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

bitter & sweet

I couldn't figure out why my husband was up getting ready in the dark this morning. My foggy mind kept reaching for clues.  It took me a while to figure out it was a weekday, and that I too needed to get up and start getting ready.

It's back to life, back to reality.  Work, school, everyday life.

It's bittersweet.  Holiday, staying up late, sleeping in have been fun.  But our little family thrives on routine.  We are homebodies, as much as possible.  Everyone is happier, days go better, when little children are in bed on time (or early!) and mama and daddy get some decompression time before our bedtime.  We decompressed last night watching The Bachelor.  I find that show somewhat entertaining and it's even more entertaining watching it with Bean, who was getting his tweet on during the show last night.

There was something comforting though, about being up and dressed this morning.  About the kids getting ready for the day without turning on the TV and everyone sitting at the table to eat breakfast.  Everyone was rested and they followed directions well.  I actually got to work early.

What in life isn't bittersweet?  Nothing is perfect.  This earth isn't perfect.  We certainly aren't.  Each time I'm faced with the imperfections of others, I am reminded I am just as imperfect as they are and I shouldn't be casting stones.

Bring the bitter, bring the sweet.  I actually have Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist in my bag to start reading.

Parts of my life are sweet, but some parts are bitter right now.  May I not become bitter.  May I learn from it, but yet allow God to touch it and make it sweet.

Linked up with just write today.

I blogged last night too, hello 2012.

Monday, January 2, 2012

hello 2012

I wanted to share some collages of our last few weeks of holiday and vacation fun.  But alas, our hard drive is full, of pictures and I need to transfer files to our external drive.  But I ran 20 miles today and have absolutely no energy.

Perhaps later this week, but at my blogging rate these days, who knows.  I have such great intentions.  I read all the "how to plan your blog posts" articles, but darn life just gets in the way.  Blog posts are easier to plan when you either work from home or work as a mom only.

Suffice it to say, we've had a fun, full, tiring few weeks.  Both Bean and I were off this past week--which was great.  We didn't have any huge plans, but every day was full.  The kids went to bed late many nights.  And they actually slept past 7am most mornings, which is a first.  Which also means tomorrow mornings 6:30am wake-up is going to be BRUTAL.  For all involved.

I don't have a fancy review of 2011.  It was a rough year.  Lily was sick every single month last year, until her surgery in mid-November.  And glory to God, she's been fever-free since her tonsils were removed.  We've walked through difficult situations with those around us.  Second grade has been rough at home with Miss Rose.  She's doing great in school, but a real challenge at home.  Attitude, disrespect, talking back.  I've been told this is a rough age, so hopefully she'll turn a corner soon.  We keep reminding ourselves that toughing it out right now will make the later years a little easier.

I learned a lot in 2010 though.  A lot about myself.  About God.  About ministry.  Friends.  Family.  Most of the lessons had a difficult genesis, but God wastes nothing and I won't soon forget what I've learned.  Life is difficult.  It just is.  But we can always learn.

And now onto 2012.  I am believing for better things.  I am believing for healing and redemption.  I am believing for clarity and vision.  I know this year will hold it's challenges too--because what year doesn't? But I don't walk this life alone.  God goes before me, leading. I have an amazing husband, family and friends to journey with.

So, hello 2012.  I'm ready for whatever you've got for me!