Monday, January 16, 2012

just write

I haven't posted here in a week.  I think of blog posts just about every day, but there just aren't enough hours in the day or energy in my body.  I'm not even sure where this is going tonight, which is why I decided to just write.

Things have been good.  Full schedules as always.  I taught a school of ministry class this weekend, which is exhausting but also provided money for my soon to be 8-year-old's party.  Miss Rose wanted to have an actual party this year.  We are taking kids to play Laser Tag and then heading to a Chuck E. Cheese which is next door for games and pizza.  She invited several friends from school, but we've yet to get any RSVP's back.  Not sure what to think about that.

The only thing on my mind lately is that I'm running a MARATHON on Sunday.  26.2 miles.  My first ever.  I can confidently say that I'm ready though.  My ultimate goal is to finish and making any time goals is just icing on the cake.  That's not to say I won't be pushing myself or running against my watch.  I'm only ever competitive against myself.  Other than finish, I also want to leave it all out there.  I don't want to cross the finish line feeling like I still have more to give.

Yet if I could get to the end of an average day and feel like I had more to give, that would be incredible.  I guess everyday life is a marathon that drains me.  My children are exhibiting some poor attitudes and manners and I feel like character-building is what is needed.  But where do I find the time for that.

My oldest needs more responsibility, but she's very Type A---which means I need lists and checklists and to spell every detail out to get the best result from her.  My middle girl needs some simple manners reminders and to stop throwing fits when she doesn't get her way.  Which usually involves me saying no to her changing her clothes for the fifth time that day.  The littlest, well she learns everything from them so focusing these issues with them will rub off on her.

I've been pretty confident in my mothering skills.  But oh my.

Stubborn. Strong-willed. Opinionated.  These are traits my girls have.  Inherited from me.  They can be great strengths.  And great challenges.  For me and them.  I wasn't so much like this when I was younger. So I'm at a loss.

Prayer.  It's my biggest weapon. Praying circles around my girls.  For energy and discipline myself.

This mothering thing? Hardest ever.  Worth it.  But hardest ever.

Linked up here.