Over Christmas my sister gave me a couple of books to read by Shauna Niequist, including Bittersweet.
I read about half of it. It's one of those books you want to devour but at the same time you want to savor every morsel because it's so good. Kind of like how that chocolate on the front looks. I'm a fast reader. I always regret how fast I eat really good desserts. I want to learn to read and eat slowly, to not miss anything.
Then I lost it. For a few days I thought I misplaced it. I bring books I'm reading and my journal back and forth between work and home. I don't always use the same bags so things do get misplaced at times. But when the book didn't show up after a few days, I made many concerted searches at home, in my office and in the church lost and found.
The book never turned up.
Because I truly lose things so rarely, it drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like I am losing my mind. In fact, I do lose my mind over and over as I try to figure out where it could be or what happened. Kind of like when Lily's Wubbie got left in a church pew before a service and when I went to find it after, it was gone and never turned up in lost and found. Maddening.
Then a month ago or so, I lost my journal.
Seriously? Again? Now I was really going crazy.
Not only was it frustrating to lose it, but I lost a part of me because it's my thoughts, my prayers, notes from books I'm reading, scriptures that speak to me. I've kept a journal since I was a kid and from junior high on they have been mostly prayer journals. I was pretty certain home was the last place I had it, so I assumed it got thrown away accidentally. A little more comforting than it falling into someone's hands, but still.
The other night Bean made the random suggestion that maybe it was in the bottom of the couch. I didn't think that stuff could get to the very bottom but we turned over the couch and I pried a section of the bottom off--and what do you know---my journal was there!!!
I was really hoping I'd find the book in the couch too, but no such luck. At least I can purchase the book again, but the journal couldn't have been replaced.
I've regained a little of my mind, finding the journal, but I still feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. Maybe once I have a replacement copy of the book I'll feet right again.