Tuesday, May 29, 2012

just write

First. Last. In between.  It's all swirling around in my head these days. Things are surreal.

This morning as the kids were eating breakfast I told them, "this is mommy's last week of work. Next week I'll be home every day with you."  That doesn't seem real. Gracie said "then you'll have a different job." And I replied, "no, not for a while."

Over eight years now of being a mother, and I will finally be a stay at home mom. For at least few months.  I'm about to turn 35 and I'm making a career change. Over 11 years as a pastor and now I'm going to become a nurse. It's been a desire, a dream, since I was a kid. But God clearly directed me into ministry and I have loved it.  Sure it has it's challenges like any job or career, but it has been so incredibly fulfilling.

And yet, it's time for a change. I want to wake up on Sundays and get my girls dressed and head to church as a family. I want to go to work, do my job, come home and know someone else has taken my place and I don't have to think about a thing. The idea of working a few 12 hour shifts a week and devoting the rest of my time to my family is very appealing.

Because the fact is, Miss Rose is almost half-way done with her time under our roof. That is mind-boggling. I realize she will probably spend more than 18 years dependent on us, but still. These years they fly by. And I don't want to miss anything. I want to minister to my kids first and foremost.

Yes, that's possible while working as a pastor too--I've been doing it all their lives. But for me, for right now, I just know this is where God is leading me. He has been for a few years. It's been a time of growing and faith-building and faith-walking. Learning obedience, sacrifice, trust and sovereignty.

I knew 11 years ago, when I accepted my first pastoral job that I wouldn't be a pastor for life. There was just something deep in me that knew. I have struggled a bit. Because it's all I've known. It's all I've been. So many relationships and networks I'm a part of are because of my role as a pastor.

It's time to find a new part of me. My call to ministry remains the same and I know I won't be able to stay uninvolved in church life for long. But this is a new season.

So I finish out my last few days in the office. Packing. Cleaning. Going through files and draws. Reminiscing. In front of me is a large bulletin board full of pictures. I may wait until Sunday to take those down. They are my family and my ministry through the last 7-1/2  years at this church.

I'm sad. Excited. Anxious.

I'm at peace.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

maybe my favorite idea ever

While brainstorming what we would do at our church for Mother's Day I said as a mom, I love taking pictures every year with my kids. Another pastor had looked into renting a photo booth before and had all the info still---so guess what was in our lobby this past Sunday?!

Photobooth photos are so fun!

While we were getting ready to go in, one of the kids (maybe Lily) pushed the start button before we were all actually ready.

So we have a strip of "the evolution of a photo booth shoot."

And then we were all ready!

I love my family!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

now to Him who is ABLE

Now to Him, who is able to do

Far more that you could
Or guess
Or request
In your wildest dreams
Far over and above

Beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams

Exceedingly, abundantly

More than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:20 (in various Bible translations)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

What do you do when you are 5 and bored in church?

Take over 130 self-portraits with mom's iPhone of course. Especially fun when she just let you put lipgloss on too.