Monday, June 11, 2012

faith and manna


...Even when there was no reason to hope, he kept on hoping and kept on believing...

Abraham was a man of faith.

I'm trying to become more and more a woman of faith. Some struggle with that first step of faith, although I don't. But journeying in faith is where I am truly tested.  The day after day, moving in the direction where God is leading, trusting for the day. That is hard. I want to plan. I want to know.

I'm embarking upon a new career, but the bottom line is I've quit my job--which was about 50% of our income. And we didn't have any extra. It was a huge step of faith. And it may seem pretty stupid to some. But we knew it was right.

I feel so strongly that this summer with my children is going to be a landmark time. I may not get to be as present with them in their childhood as I will this summer.  Being a stay at home mom is exhausting and demanding in so many ways. But it is so precious. Some women need the outlet of a job and I completely respect and support that. Me, I could probably be home until my children are grown. This summer is a gift that I believe God wanted to give me, to give my children.

There are so many questions though about the future. About finances. About schooling. The journey to being a nurse. This is the hard part. I'm doing everything I can, but it looks like it will be down the wire before everything is known when it comes to my financial aid.

This faith journey. Trusting that when I wake up each morning there will be enough manna for the day.  The decisions we made were long in coming. They didn't come without much prayer and advice. Without confirmation and blessing. We took the step of faith, because we couldn't not.

And now we wait, we trust, we hope, we believe.

We have faith.