Tuesday, June 26, 2012

just write: tears & swim lessons

There was a lot of crying during the first day of swim lessons today. One little boy in the same group as my little girls wailed pretty much the entire lesson. It's to be expected but it still sets everyone else on edge. The parent bleachers are on the other side of the big pool, so I didn't have a great view of my kids. I guess Lily cried too and even Gracie said she cried, although I'm not sure I believe her.

As I sat there, on a Tuesday morning in the hot sun, I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. It's a beautiful summer day, and I am with my kids. I just got back from a wedding in Colorado. And instead of having to get back to the grind of work, all I had to do was get back in the swing of things at home. I had just dropped off Miss Rose at Fine Arts Camp at church and said hi to my friend and former co-worker. "My" office sits empty. I am with my kids. 

This summer at home with my girls is one of the most incredible gifts I've received. It's reaffirmed my love for my kids and the true joy of being a mom. Sure I get tired and cranky and crave me time or adult time. But overall, I feel such peace and contentment. The kids are getting along great and behavior problems are minor. 

It would be great if I didn't need to work, if this could be more permanent. But I trust in Psalm 16:6 that "the boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places." I trust in where I am and what's required of me, even if that means working out of the home. My new career will hopefully give me more time at home than I've had before while still paying the bills.

In the meantime, I'm soaking up the sun and soaking up my children.