Wednesday, March 20, 2013

some words I'm living by (to get through nursing school)

I probably think on the theme of this blog at least once a day. Perhaps not the phrase "embrace this day" but the idea of taking it one day at a time, living in the moment, not worrying about tomorrow. I chose this blog title because I believe it and I find that my outlook on the life is better with this approach.

During the summer Bean and I went to my first orientation for nursing school. It was a little overwhelming to hear about various aspects of the program, extra expenses (which I totaled today for tax purposes to the tune of $1,000), and how intense it was going to be. I think they try to scare us on purpose. And for good reason.

Nursing school, an accelerated BSN program is no joke.

As we reflected on some of the ins and outs of the program on our drive home, Bean and I decided we would just have to take it one day at a time.

One of the most difficult aspects of the program is the lack of foreknowledge for each semester. Everything is always changing. And then it can change again mid-semester. For example, I will be taking a full load this summer. We received an email last week stating that our summer schedule wouldn't be available until May 20, which is less than two weeks before the summer semester starts. Which is especially challenging when you have childcare to arrange.

We have no choice but to take it one day at a time.

People ask me how it's going and I usually say a few things...

-it's good.
-it's not hard, but we have to learn a lot at once.
-we have some sort of theory exam or skills test almost every week
-but I love it.

There are days I worry about the tension and stress this program puts on my family. Currently, I leave Monday morning at 6:45am and am not home again until Tuesday at 4:00pm. I am gone again for 12 hours on Wednesdays. Of course Miss Rose has baseball practice on Mondays and Wednesdays, and the past few weeks she's had baseball games on Tuesday. So Bean is handing most of this on his own. He does a wonderful job, but solo parenting is hard and tiring.

There are days I question if I'm doing the right thing and if the cost is too high. There are days I think may need to drop out and figure something else out for a career.

But this is something I've been working towards for over 5 years (the Lily surprise added a little time to my plans!). We have prayed and sought counsel. And this is where God has led us.

This isn't just about me, but it's about us as a married couple and as a family. I'm the one in class and clinicals and the medical facilities. But my husband and my children are in this nursing program too. Without them, their support and their belief in me, this wouldn't be happening.

In reality, 18 months is a short period of time.  August 2014 will be here before I know it.

I saw this on Facebook today, and I may need to plaster it in my car, my bathroom, my backpack and everywhere else in my life.

The last line speaks to me the most.

"The time will pass anyway."

I have dreamed of being a nurse for many, many years. When  I was young, being a doctor was the only career I ever spoke about. I loved playing with baby dolls, but instead of playing house, I'd play hospital and make my dolls their own medical charts.

God led me to full-time ministry for over 10 years, which I loved and found so fulfilling. But now he's opened this door.

August 2014 is coming one way or another. I will either be a nurse or I will not.

I'd rather be a nurse than anything else.

So one day at a time. Embrace the day and what it holds. Work hard. Study hard. Love my family hard.

The time will pass anyway. So what are you waiting for?